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Updated: Jul 1, 2023


On April 25, 2023, Emerging Voices hosted a zoomcast featuring Aseel AlBajeh, a legal researcher and advocacy officer for Al-Haq, a Palestinian human rights organization based in Ramallah, the West Bank. Established in 1979, Al-Haq documents violations of the individual and collective rights of Palestinians in the Occupied Palestinian territory. Below are audio samples from the event along with the full written transcript.



Aseel completed her LL.M. in International Human Rights Law at the Irish Center for Human Rights at National University of Ireland Galway. In addition to her academic research, focused on transitional justice and decolonisation in Palestine, Aseel writes opinion articles for several media outlets.




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These are edited excerpts from the session. To listen to the entire presentation, head here.


We document various kinds of violations on the ground--demolitions, killings against Palestinians, torture in prison by the Israeli authorities, but also by Palestinian authorities, land confiscation, exploitation of natural resources of the Palestinian people, settler violence. We do a legal analysis of such crimes as mandated by international law. We do advocacy work with policymakers, seeking accountability. We push governments to abide by their obligations under international law. The situation in Palestine means not only obligations on Israel as the colonial power, but also on the international community as a whole to basically step in and bring an end to the illegal situation.


We aim to contribute to ending the culture of impunity that Israel enjoys. For example, we submit documentation from the field to the International Criminal Court. We expose complicities of businesses/corporations in the illegal situation in Palestine and how they are maintained in the settlement enterprise.


We also focus a lot of our work on narrative. By narrative, I mean how do we situate all these violations within the context they are taking place; what are root causes? The most recent comprehensive report Al-Haq produced can be found on our website. It's called Israeli Apartheid: A Tool of Zionist Settler Colonialism.


This report builds on two decades of legal research from civil society organizations identifying the situation in Palestine as apartheid. An apartheid regime Israel is imposing on the Palestinian people.

It doesn't matter if you are a Palestinian in a refugee camp outside of Palestine or in the occupied Palestinian territory, or if you're a Palestinian with Israeli citizenship. This regime is imposing racial domination over the Palestinian people as a whole. This apartheid is what we analyze in our comprehensive report.


When we use the term ‘Zionist settler colonialism', we're talking about a project that started decades ago, and is ongoing.


From the start, this project saw the indigenous Palestinian people marked for erasure, to be replaced with a settler population. With the creation of the State of Israel in 1948--what we Palestinians call the Nakba or the Catastrophe--ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people continued. The majority of Palestinians were displaced, their properties were confiscated. Massacres and destruction of communities were committed by Zionist forces. This did not end in 1948.


We refer to this process as an ongoing nakba. On the 15th of May, we will commemorate the original nakba, the 75th year of this process. Palestinians not only commemorate a legacy of colonialism, but an ongoing process of displacement.



Ending the Occupation and ending the apartheid system in itself will not ensure a liberated future for the Palestinian people as long as there is an ideology that treats Palestinians as a threat and views the return of millions of Palestinian refugees to Israel as an assault on the demographic composition of the State of Israel.


As long as we have this settler colonial ideology, the Palestinian people will be treated as inferior. Israel has been attacking any and all voices that challenge Israel’s violations, whether by smearing individuals and organizations as anti-semitic or labeling them as terrorists.


Two years ago, Al-Haq and five other organizations were designated by Israel's Minister of Defense as terrorist organizations. This designation did not come out of the blue. A systemic attack against civil society organizations in Palestine preceded this.

Arbitrary arrests of human rights defenders and death threats against them, travel bans, closing of offices, are rampant. My former colleague, who worked with the International Criminal Court, received death threats to her and her family. Designation as a terrorist organization is a continuation of attacks against civil society. The staff of human rights organizations are under threat of being arrested at any moment. Myself and my colleagues can be arrested because of this designation. The anti terror law labels us and looks at us as terrorists.


Absurdly, the justification for Israel giving us this designation is based, they tell us, on a secret file that cannot be shared. The entire aim of this label is to intimidate our partners and donors. We are nongovernmental organizations who receive funds from governments and from civil society abroad, including Europe.


The Israeli government is trying to intimidate donors and the international community so they will stop funding organizations like ours and eventually close our offices.


MODERATOR: What is the role of the International Criminal Court? (end Moderator)


The International Criminal Court is an independent body, not a governmental one, which works with governments and civil society organizations worldwide. The Court investigates situations that can lead to prosecution of war crimes and crimes against humanity.


Proceeding with the investigation against potential war crimes and crimes against humanity in Palestine has taken a lot of time. The open investigation started at least two years ago. Unfortunately, we have not yet seen any effective action to proceed with arrest warrants or to promote in-depth investigation.


There's a lot of political pressure on the Court, especially regarding Palestine. In the Trump era, there were sanctions against the Criminal Court and its staff because there was a potential for investigations into US conduct in Afghanistan and Israeli actions in Palestine. The ICC has a lot of potential to ensure justice for the Palestinian people and to end Israel's impunity. Politics impedes its work.


What are the prospects for a unified Palestinian voice? I think the month of May is an inspiring time. May 2021 was the unity uprising, the Intifada of the Palestinian people. Many Palestinians came onto the streets to protest the ongoing colonization and theft of their land.


It started in Jerusalem, specifically the neighborhood of Sheikh Jarrah, where families were under threat of being displaced in favor of Israeli Jewish settlers. Families in Sheikh Jarrah launched a campaign to save Sheikh Jarrah. Eventually, protests spread across historic Palestine.


There were protests in Haifa and Ramallah, in Jerusalem and Gaza, and also in Palestinian refugee camps abroad and from Palestinians in exile. Slogans chanted at that time stressed the unity of the Palestinian people. In one voice, people were saying we have been fragmented for 73 years since the Nakba and now we are reclaiming our narrative as a people.


Regardless of where we are, we Palestinians are subjected to the same regime. This regime is a settler colonial and an apartheid one. Protestors were demanding freedom for the people as a whole, the right of return of refugees, the decolonization of Palestine. Since 2021, we have seen new forms of resistance and reclamation of the Palestinian narrative. The unity process begun in 2021 is continuing to grow.


Reconstructing a political project for the Palestinian people in which they are represented in their entirety with elections and the democratic process, along with the right of return to our historic lands, would reinforce this unity. Existing physical barriers are the most visible manifestation of fragmentation that disconnects Palestinians from one another.

This includes the apartheid wall, the settlements in the West Bank, and the blockade of the Gaza Strip. These physical fragmentations should be ended to restore unity.


The right of return is a very, very heavy duty demand rather than a request. Ideally, what's the endgame? That thing called Israel is also highly fragmented. How do you address that? And who or what can decide the future for 14 million Palestinians?


This is where Al-Haq comes in. We see our mandate as one legitimized by international law. One of the major important human rights for the Palestinian people--and it's a collective right--is the right of self determination. It doesn't matter if it's a one state, two state or a million state solution. If these obstacles--colonial domination, the apartheid regime, the illegal occupation--continue, Palestinians will not be living in freedom.

The Palestinian people as a whole should decide what they want. There should be representation for all voices. I, Aseel, who live in Ramallah, cannot speak for a Palestinian living in Lebanon who has been denied a right to return for 75 years. Together we must decide what future we wish to have.




Can something be done, short of the end of the occupation and the end of the colonial regime, to foster that unified voice? Seeking decolonization works hand in hand with working on short term things within the status quo. For example, Al-Haq calls for elections within the occupied Palestinian territory. It’s not the way to liberate Palestine, but it's an important step to have some representation, a renewed leadership, and some kind of democratic process.


Part of our work focuses on internal human rights violations by Palestinian authorities.

The Palestinian Authority controls all authorities--the executive branch and the judicial system and the legislative branch. We advocate for separation of powers and a democratic process in Palestinian society.


We are working for a civil society in Palestine as we advocate for these changes. On the other hand, there can never be an effective governing power or authority, a Palestinian one, while the Occupation is in place.

It takes a lot of work to reclaim the narrative. Recognizing the situation as it is is the first step that can lead to effective change.


We cannot simply identify the situation as a sporadic human rights violation happening in a vacuum, a demolition happening here and there, a settler occasionally attacking a Palestinian. We must put all this in context and call out root causes. Then the international community and people committed to justice towards Palestinians will be directed in the right way.


MODERATOR: Two governing bodies represent the Palestinians within that part of the world. There's Hamas in Gaza and the Palestine Authority in the West Bank. My understanding is there's a lot of bad blood between these two governing bodies. Hamas in Gaza is Islamist. Within the Palestine Authority, Abbas, who's 87, has been in power for an untold number of years. The PA is known to be corrupt, to not be protecting its own citizens.


Some say the PA is simply a branch of Israeli security, working for the Israeli government, controlling rather than helping Palestinians. Hamas, other issues aside, is much more unwilling to lay down arms. These two organizations have very different modus operandi, very little interaction and are basically in separate camps.


Who will govern and who's the governing body? Where are they? Or are people like you waiting to be empowered? (End moderator).


There's no shame in saying there's no effective and representative leadership for the Palestinian people at the moment. Not only because there have been no elections, but because we're talking about the Palestinian Authority. We should understand what the Palestinian Authority is.


It's a governing body that was supposed to be in place for 5 years as per the Oslo Accords. What’s happened is that the Palestinian Authority has continued for the past 20 plus years to basically govern the West Bank and the occupied Palestinian territory. But it actually has no power. There's still colonialism. In fact, there’s been a reinforcement and entrenchment of the colonial regime with more settlements and more checkpoints. There were no checkpoints before the Palestinian Authority.


The current infrastructure is basically cutting ties between Palestinian villages and towns in the West Bank. The killings and the suppression by Israel has increased. The Palestine Authority has continued to operate, but it’s lost its legitimacy amongst Palestinians. First of all, there are no elections and no democratic representation. And there’s rampant corruption.


My generation was born into a situation in which there was a supposed peace process. What we see on the ground is violence and killings and demolitions and more confiscation of land. We have been brought up in colonialism and occupation, to denial of the right to return and many other things--all with no representation.

There is no trust in the Palestinian Authority. There is frustration as well with the international community. We're talking about an international community that is not only silent and not taking action to end the illegal occupation, but sometimes rewards Israel for its crimes, providing military aid and making trade and other agreements that basically foster the illegal situation in Palestine.


MODERATOR: Would you get rid of the PA if you could.and start again, or would you try to reform it? And what about Hamas. What are the ideologies and mechanisms that make it work and how do they differ from those of the PA? (End moderator).


The point I stressed at the beginning is that elections are key at this stage. Not because we want to elect the president of the Palestinian Authority, but so as to have legislative elections. These would ensure a separation of power between branches within the Palestinian Authority and foster a democratic process until we know how this body could turn into a more representative one.


We should bear in mind that the Palestinian Authority is not representative of the Palestinian people. Disregarding its corruption, it only represents 3 million Palestinians in the West Bank. The majority of Palestinian people are outside the reach of this authority.


The legitimate body representing the Palestinian people as a whole is the Palestine Liberation Organization. Unfortunately, it has been inactive since the creation of the Palestinian Authority.


Do we want to get rid of the Palestinian Authority? Do we want to revive the Palestinian Liberation Organization? These are not simple questions. These are questions that need to be answered by the people as a whole.


Until we reach this moment when the voices of Palestinian people are represented, these are the first steps we need to talk about. The election. Ending the Occupation. Ending all the systems of domination against the Palestinian people.


MODERATOR: Say a few words about Hamas. How do you see them being integrated moving forward? Is there a bridge between non -Islamists and Hamas Islamists?

(End moderator).


Hamas has an Islamist ideology, but it is also a political party. Political parties in any context in the world have their own ideological programs. Hamas was created in Palestine in the 80’s after decades of colonialism.


As a political party, it has a program based on an Islamist ideology. But along with that, it believes Palestine should be free from the river to the sea. It denounces peace process approaches with Israeli colonizers and uses the strategy of armed resistance as a way to liberate Palestine.


Whether Hamas is also an effective force for moving forward is not something I can answer.


The new generation has a new vision for Palestine. The majority of the candidates running for elections were actually independent. Outside the existing political parties, Hamas and Fatah and others, these independent candidate lists had a different vision for the Palestinian future.

Unfortunately the elections were canceled. The new candidates were envisioning a future for Palestine free from the river to the sea, but with a new set of ideas and using different tactics. It was a voice of this new youth generation, but they did not have a chance to be elected.


PARTICIPANT: How do you see the impact of the divisions in Israel on the Palestinian cause? If your adversary is divided, you are strengthened. That's my personal opinion. (End participant).


Thank you for the question. This new government is far right and it's radical. But as Palestinians, we do not see any change in this government from past regimes.


It's a government with a much more exposed agenda. It’s implementing the same policies and the same crimes, just in a very exposed and more honest way. The division taking place and the protest within Israel could serve as an opportunity for the Palestinian people in two ways.


First of all, it's a chance for the international community to actually abide by their obligations under international law. They have been saying, and supposedly all governments agree, except maybe for the U.S, that Israeli settlements constitute a war crime and should be dismantled.


A variety of UN general resolutions and Security Council resolutions and statements by officials condemn these war crimes. Nonetheless, there have been no effective actions to end the settlement enterprise. What we're seeing with the new government is that they are more explicit in how they want to expand the settlement enterprise. They are legalizing colonial outposts and encouraging settlers to hold arms and attack Palestinians. I think this might be a wake-up call for governments worldwide. They have known this for decades. But maybe now, with this explicit right-wing government, they will abide by their legal obligations and take action against Israel.


We've heard some rhetoric from government officials known as Israel allies. They are now criticizing or denouncing the acts of the new government, telling Israel they cannot defend these explicit and unhidden crimes. This is one of the opportunities for change the new government has given the Palestinian people.



PARTICIPANT COMMENT: I'd like to ask a question which I suppose is slightly devil's advocate. Clearly, Al-Haq is based on the idea that there is a civil campaign to be waged. You talk about advocacy and trying to enforce accountability for crimes on both sides. But at the moment, Israel is the much stronger party and therefore more likely to commit more crimes. What would you say to people who argue, they’ve been doing that for decades, everyone knows what's going on but chooses not to intervene. There is no persuasion possible anymore. Therefore the only way of changing things is a liberation movement with the use of violence. This is more or less how you were characterizing Hamas. Do you still see a role for civilian and peaceful protest or are we getting to the point where the level of violence being unleashed against Palestinians is too great? (End participant).


I think there's benefit from any form of resistance, not only by Palestinians. But I would see the organization of this webinar as an example of raising awareness on the Palestinian question. Listening to Palestinians is an example of how we can contribute to freedom.


Freedom and liberation is a very long process. Unfortunately, the cost of freedom is the lives and dignities of the oppressed people. I see this attack on Al-Haq as an indication of how important our work is along with other civil society organizations.

Any kind of advocacy-- resistance, a protest, an academic article, dance performance, raising awareness of what’s happening in Palestine, trying to get recognition of what the situation is and to seek accountability--all these efforts complement one another. Liberation is a very long term process, and we have to be patient. If we did not have patience as we advocate for liberation, then I would have resigned a long time ago because I do not yet see change.


I see more killings, and more violence. I see more violations on the ground. But I do believe in the effective role of any resistance tactic that is employed, not only by Palestinians, but by anyone committed to justice in Palestine.


MODERATOR: What other human rights groups and NGOs does AL-Haq partner with?

(End moderator).


A lot of the work I described is with other organizations. For example, the report we launched on Zionist settler colonialism and apartheid is a joint work with another Palestinian civil society organization. Since the creation of Al-Haq, there has been a lot of coordination between our Palestinian partners, human rights organizations and grassroots organizations.


Some human rights organizations in Palestine are exclusively working on prisoners rights, some are working on children's rights, some on gender issues and women rights. We work together and try to benefit from each other's expertise and documentation. And we do a lot of joint work on campaigning and advocacy with organizations based in Palestine.

But with global campaigns that we launch as Palestinians--for example, the campaign to Stand with the 6, a campaign to support the sixth organization that has been designated as a terrorist organization--we have received tremendous support from civil society organizations and partners worldwide.


The amazing thing about the attack against Al-Haq is we were afraid this would divert us from our core work. But our partners globally took our demands, and have been supporting us by writing letters to policymakers, briefing policy makers, speaking out on Israel’s crimes.


Even before the Standing with the 6 campaign, we were part of many international coalitions including the International Federation Human Rights, Amnesty International Human Rights Watch. All these organizations are committed to advancing justice in Palestine.


Since the mounting recognition of the apartheid situation in Palestine/Israel, we’ve also been coordinating with Israeli organizations who recognize the situation as apartheid. We coordinate on joint work to end the apartheid regime.


Al-Haq does a lot. Our Centre for Applied International Law is basically a department within the organizatIon that focuses on capacity-building and raising awareness.


We receive many delegations from unionists, students, civil society organizations, scholars. Along with training, we offer field visits so they can see the situation on the ground.


MODERATOR: What I'm taking away from this is the need for a Palestinian government in waiting. There's no question Israel is doing terrible things, whatever words you want to use to describe it. But what I'm hearing is there's no Palestinian government ready to take over. There are people like you, Aseel. But there's a lot of work to be done on capacity building for those in the wings to take over when Israel is called to account.


PARTICIPANT: I wonder if you take any hope from the fact there are huge street demonstrations in Israel now. Do you see anything hopeful in that? (End participant).


I already stressed the fact we do not think the current Palestinian Authority is an effective and legitimate leadership structure for the Palestinian people. At the same time, we call for elections in order to ensure that this Authority has an effective democratic leadership. This is the way to go, I think.


Regarding the protests against reforms of the judicial system in Israel, it’s important to stress that the demonstrations are not against the colonial domination over Palestinians. They are not against the occupation of the Palestinian land and its people.

They are not even against how this same judicial system has been treating Palestinians. This justice system has been another instrument in the entire colonial oppression of the Palestinian people. That does not lead to any justice for them. This is why the Palestinian people are seeking justice internationally and not within the colonizing structure dominating them.


Unfortunately, these protests are not looking at the State of Israel as a corrupt system, a system of colonial domination and part of an apartheid regime. They are only protesting the democratic image of the State of Israel, which is something Israel has been trying to persuade the international community it is.


I don't think any country or regime in the world can be democratic while at the same time imposing a 75 year old system of colonial domination against an indigenous people, a system of apartheid and illegal occupation. So no, I don't think it’s promising in its current form. It could be promising if the Israelis were denouncing our situation as well and acknowledging their role as citizens in this settler colonial regime.


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The name Zimbabwe is derived from the Shona phrase dzimba dzemabwe, meaning “houses of stone”, an homage to the ancient kingdom of the ancestral vaShona people. Their capital was what is known today as the Great Zimbabwe Ruins.


In fact, present day Zimbabwe actually is a house of stone, rich in diverse minerals and precious and semi-precious stones. Zimbabwe is known for its stone carvings and masonry dating back to the Great Zimbabwe days, 1250-1450 AD. A Zimbabwean bird carved of stone is a national emblem appearing on the national flag and bank notes.


Zimbabwe is known for its stone carvings and masonry dating back to the Great Zimbabwe days, 1250-1450 AD.

Shona people had a relationship with the soil--“ivhu”--a relationship that would lead to war and rebellion when white colonial settlers tried to take the land. The abundant stone of Zimbabwe was linked closely to Shona spiritual and cultural practices. Historically, stone works were not exported nor created as objects of art.


In 1889, German explorer Willi Posselt was the first European to steal carved Zimbabwean stones, marking the external world’s first encounter with Zimbabwean stone works.1


McEwen was keen on the mores of African people which led him to become acquainted with the godfather of modern Shona Sculpture, Joram Mariga. Mariga and his early soapstone carvings prompted McEwen to encourage early stone carvers to work on pieces that reflected their culture. A school was established by the gallery and soon attracted more artists, many of whom had already been exposed to some form of art training in early mission schools.


These artists included Henry Mukarobgwa, Joseph Ndandarika, John Takawira, Thomas Mukarobgwa, Henry Munyaradzi, Fanizani Akuda, Nicholas Mukomberanwa, Slyvester Mubayi, Bernard Matemera, Boira Mteki, Moses Masaya, Bernard Takawira and Lazaraus Takawira, who made up the first generation. The budding art movement was financed by a farmer, Tom Blomefield, in 1966. Artists set up Tengenenge Sculpture Community at Blomefield’s farm.


From Tengenenge to the world! After setting up this first collective, other communities sprouted in Zimbabwe from Chapungu Sculpture Park to Chitungwiza Art Centre. The first generation of sculptors worked to put Zimbabwean Shona Sculpture on the map nationally and internationally.


The first generation of sculptors worked to put Zimbabwean Shona Sculpture on the map nationally and internationally.

Slyvester Mubayi, a first generation artist who died in late 2022, inspired me to write this piece. An internationally acclaimed sculptor and “elder” of the Shona Sculptor community. A 2005 review by Michael Shepard in the Sunday Telegraph remarked, "Now that Henry Moore is dead, who is the greatest living stone sculptor? Were I to choose, I would choose from three Zimbabwean sculptors – Sylvester Mubayi, Nicholas Mukomberanwa and Joseph Ndandarika". To have these artists juxtaposed with Henry Moore demonstrates the excellence and importance of Shona Sculpture.


Second and third generation sculptors have managed to keep the art form alive, acting as custodians of the vaShona people, chiseling one sculpture at a time. Sadly, economic conditions in Zimbabwe and a lack of collectors in the country have resulted in many of the original sculptures being exported. Our heritage and customs go away with them.


The biggest Shona Sculpture collection in the world is at Zimbabwe Sculpture: a Tradition in Stone, a permanent exhibit of sculpture at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in the state of Georgia, USA. Comparing that with the number of art pieces at Robert Mugabe International Airport in Harare, you will understand why we Zimbabweans need to set up more permanent collections in our own country. It’s a sad commentary that it’s in the southern United States, not Zimbabwe, where the largest Shona stone collection is to be seen.


There have been efforts to set up collections in Zimbabwe, and some notable pieces can be seen at the University of Zimbabwe Great Hall and Library, the National Art Gallery of Zimbabwe, and the Parliament of Zimbabwe. But there are no more than a few pieces on display.


With the whole first generation of Shona Sculptors nearly gone, their works of art will scatter. More private parties and the government need to buy the art pieces and set up permanent collections around Zimbabwe. This would preserve the Shona Sculpture history in Dzimbabwe, the House of Stone. We must save ourselves from a great loss, forfeiting the very last of the first of Zimbabwe’s Shona Sculpture culture.


1 More than five decades after Posselt’s theft, Zimbabwean stone carvings evolved to what we know today as Shona Sculpture. The first generation of Shona sculptors emerged in the nineteen fifties under the patronage of then Rhodes National Gallery (RNG) director Frank McEwen. Today the RNG is the National Gallery of Zimbabwe (NGZ).



See © Brown-Lowe, Robin (2003). The Lost City of Solomon and Sheba: An African Mystery.

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Updated: Jul 1, 2023



‘Open closed open. Before we are born, everything is open in the universe without us. For as long as we live, everything is closed within us. And when we die, everything is open again. Open closed open. That’s all we are.’


Recently, three people close to me opened--or closed-- depending on how you see it. One was my brother-in-law Jim. For over fifty years, together we kept alive the memory of his brother, my late husband. The other was a friend from earlier days, someone from the nineteen sixties with whom I shared Peace Corps times in East Africa. And before them, my beloved friend Ellen died. She and I shared a house for eleven years, where I was super-aunt to her three children.


Examining the meaning of these people in my life, and constructing the meaning of their death, I am oddly--and gratefully--comforted. It's as if each of them taught me something by the way they left. They hadn't planned to do so. I wasn't central to their lives, the way their spouses and children were. But we shared conversations and thoughts over the years. And knowing them as I did, I understand a bit more about how finality can be a bit more of an opening than a closing--though still I fear it, truth be told.


My friend Diarmuid knew he was dying. He was in hospice, but we kept texting. His straightforwardness was invigorating, his ability to coexist with death's approach and still be incensed by the state of the world he was leaving behind. I loved his sense of outrage, his Swiftian anger at how messed up things are and how they need to be mended. When we were young, in the sixties, we were optimistic things would get better. Doing our bit to make that happen, he worked with farmers in Uganda and I taught secondary school in Kenya. Things felt less calamitous, before the wars in Vietnam and Iraq, before 9/11, before climate catastrophe, before the magic and destruction of social media. The world was headed in the right direction, and we were along for the ride, making progress happen.


What did I learn from Diarmuid and how he handled his exit? I learned you can remain engaged, pissed off, unrelenting in fighting injustice in the world around you.

What did I learn from Diarmuid and how he handled his exit? I learned you can remain engaged, pissed off, unrelenting in fighting injustice in the world around you. And in the end, as you skip away from it all, you can observe that your individual life is connected to larger realities. As Diarmuid said in his last unfinished note to me, not with grandiosity but with inquiry:


Is it a coincidence that the helpless thrashing of the last cohort of defunct empires matches my personal struggle to maintain coherence? In my case, I am leaving the stage of history with an overwhelming feeling of joy and gratitude for the love I have been able to give and receive. Vladimir the Terrible, Donald the cultural rag-picker and Boris the Blithering Idiot should be so lucky.

Upon further reflection, I don’t think this balmy notion plays out into anything resembling an insight. But it is definitely a fact that my exit and the final collapse of Imperialism (currently in a demented state but still sowing havoc) are somehow coinciding.


On the other hand, my brother Jim did not know his death was on its way. It came quickly. He was away in five days. Jim, too, had a finely honed sense of outrage. He and I were on opposite sides of the political spectrum, but each of us was unrelenting in how we interpreted the world's woes. Underneath his opinionated, take-no-prisoners intellect, shone a vulnerability and lovingkindness.


As he wrote a few months before his death,


{thanks for your card re} my aging, my crappy health and just plain reminder of our ties. It's our ties that matter most of course.

Jim taught me that anger doesn't have to dissolve bonds, that sharpness of mind needn't fade over time, that there are ways of being loving even when inner conflicts threaten to choke off kindness.


Jim taught me that anger doesn't have to dissolve bonds, that sharpness of mind needn't fade over time, that there are ways of being loving even when inner conflicts threaten to choke off kindness.

My dear Ellen showed me graciousness in the face of leavetaking, courage at its most fiery in resisting despair. Our last conversations reverberate over time. Anticipating her imminent death two years ago at what is now the not very old age of sixty-nine, Ellen wrote:


I don't really know what to think about the afterlife. Whatever it is, it will be an annihilation of anything I’ve already experienced. Will my consciousness and being disappear? Probably. At least as I understand consciousness and being. That's scary, but also it raises my curiosity, because the change does not necessarily mean an ending, just a different state that might as well be an ending. I guess that's the point of "soul growth" -- to facilitate the transition.

I'm in a different space, already "going away" and yet I'm alive and doing relatively well. I don't want to anticipate my death. I want to value what I have. It reminds me of the scene in the play "Our Town" when the woman dies in childbirth and comes back to visit her family. She sees everything so poignantly, while her family is just involved in the banalities of everyday living. I expect things will be changing as I go along; I will feel different things, going back and forth between anger, fighting, acceptance, sadness and joy in what I have.

For now I still have some work I want to do. One can only stay on these subjects for so long. Thank God, there is living to do.

Living to do; fortunately, yes for now. Those who have left are my teachers, guiding me and urging me to be open to what is to come. Goodbye Jim, Ellen, Diarmuid. Thank you.


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